Criminology Research Project, Inc., has as it’s main objective the offering of documented information on a variety of criminology related matters, namely; mass, spree, and serial murder. However, from time to time I, as CRP’s executive director, will drift away from “normal,” or shall I use the word “routine,” and delve into other areas that do not relate to crime, at least directly. This is one of these times.
I am 63 years old, sick, disabled, at times confused, and always in need of “being a better person.” I have been blessed throughout my life by having had a quality mom and dad, a quality education, several great jobs and, finally, a God given gift named Shirley. More on Shirley later in this blog.
I have developed a number of friends over the years and appreciate them more than words can portray. They are dependable, most of the time, and are there when I need them with, of course, an ocassional exception. Sometimes the going has gotten too rough and these friends jumped ship. Nevertheless, when this has happened I always thought of the old saying, “A person’s character is determined by how much it takes for them to quit.” I don’t think it was Paul “Bear” Bryant that said this but it should have been. Leaning on these few words made it possible to accept the disappointment of a friendship that was but, at the same time, wasn’t.
Time has a tendency to pass much faster than I realize therefore I don’t know if the word “months” or “year,” or “years” is most appropriate when I think of my special friend, Chris. I know that I am no computer geek, in fact, it’s all that I can do to get this blog online! Anyhow, I was “online” one day when I got an e-mail from Chris telling me about herself and that she believed that she had grown up with me. Could be but I couldn’t remember. Nevertheless, our mutual interets in criminology glued us to an everlasting relationship (don’t worry husband and wife, it’s only on a professional basis); one that, today, has a value that cannot be punched into a calculator, adding machine, or even this new fangled Dell computer.
I have never had an really “Special” friends to speak of and, to be honest, never developed to the point of practicing the philosophy of “total acceptance and dependability” toward any of my friends. There are, of course, a few exceptions but not many. I can count them on one hand for sure.
Anyhow, before my mind drifted, I was telling you about Chris. This first Internet communication became a family thing between four people; Chris and Gary…Shirley and me. We have shared our most secret of life’s details with each other. There have been times when we laughed, times when we disagreed, times when we shared confusion, and times when the most appropriate reaction was to simply cry.
It’s okay to express through these psychological outlets to a special friend. To me, Robert Edward Blackwelder, a/k/a Eddie Blackwelder, can do this with my special friend, Chris. Chris has the capacity to accept me for who I am, not for what she wants me to be or what I should be but am not. Chris accepts me for just being me and, somehow, has managed to last through long research demands that I have placed upon her and the need for her unique ability to find things that evade the abilities of others. Much the same can be said about my wife, Shirley.
The general criminological theory is that a person is who he or she will always be based on the early and first years of life. I have seen this many times over in mass and serial murderers I have been honored to study, research and whose cases I have lectured on whie a professor. In fact, I am currently writing a book on one of these people and if you read my book, Deadly Little Secret, you will gain the understanding that I have developed that will enable you to see “reality” and “fact” rather than mere biased judgment and ultimate false opinion as to why a person did what he or she did or may have done. People react in different ways…some acceptable, some not as acceptable and some so vile that society refers to them as “criminal.”
Chris, like many of us, had certain hoops that she had to jump through during her early years. My special friend is a survivor and, therefore, has the quality more commonly called “character.” Some people think they have character, a few come close to having it, but only a very small minority actually have this most positive trail…my special friend, Chris, has character. She doesn’t prove that she has this unique trait by pointing out expensively framed diplomas that may or may not hang in her study or brag on the accomplishments she has earned over the years. In fact, my special friend probably doesn’t even realize the many prizes that she does have. If she did she would NEVER admit it and would, most certainly, keep each hidden away in the depths of her brilliant and accepting mind. The prizes that my special friend has could not have been earned from the best of schools, the greatest of advantages, or the limited opportunities afforded the rich and famous. Nope, my special friend is who she is because God saw to it that she was to become what she, in fact, has become. Chris is a definite survivor in every known sense of the term. Let there be no doubt about this.
Chris has a quality set of standards that she lives by. She knows what is right versus what is wrong versus what might or might not be, based on circumstances, and is able to put the pieces of the formula together when the need arises. Chris is a thinker, a doer, an accomplisher. Chris IS character.
Criminiology Research Project, Inc., has a Board of Advisors that is made up of lettered individuals with titles and letters like, “M.D.,” “Ph.D., ” Th.M.,” Th.D.,” D.S.W.,” “ J.D.,” “D.D.,” and those on a list that continues on into oblivion. These dedicated advisors have prefixes such as Doctor, Judge, Reverend and, for this, I am proud to have them as advisors. However, there is my special friend that far outranks all of these prefix titles or letters that follow the name. My friend, you see, has character, dedication, pride, dependability, spirituality, strong morality, and the ability to just pick up on what needs to be done. Yep, she picks up on things that need to be done and goes ahead and does them. The one thing she does not have is the necessity of wanting everyone knowing her deeds, accomplishments, qualities and abilities. The lack of this necessity is the hallmark of character. My special friend is humble while holding on to the ability to take a stand when to do so it the right thing to do. My special friend has compassion to accompany her dedication that draws from her unique ability to just know the right thing to do when the right thing to do is not even apparent. Chris, my special friend, has the unusual ability to use God’s provided radar to focus in on what really is as compared to what something appears to be. One does not learn this in school and no doctorate degree will bestow this ability upon an individual. Does Chris have a diploma, degree, or certification in the arts and sciences? You had better believe she does! She has degrees in diplomacy, faithfulness, honor, respect, honesty, love, dedication, dependability and, no doubt, class and character. My dear reader, these are the most honorable, tough to earn and respected “degrees” a human being can possess. The fact is that there is no wall large enough in the home of Chris and Gary to possibly hold the degrees that my friend, Chris, has.
I’m not bragging on my special friend, to do so would dishonor who and what she really is. The correct term for this special friend is only in God’s dictionary or vocabulary…Webster doesn’t have it, never has, never will.
I believe in God more than I believe in anything. It hasn’t always been this way but, my dear reader, it is now. I don’t believe, I know, that God sent this special friend into my life and I thank Him everyday and every night for doing so. I believe in angels, I don’t worship them as is proper, but I believe in them and, yes, Chris, my special friend, is an angel. God makes angles, not families, not circumstances, not growing up atmospheres, not schools, not schools of theology and, certainly, not society. Angels are special, so special that only God can provide them. There are three words that go together: angel, Chris, and Shirley. I will tell you about my angel, Shirley, in my next blog but both Chris and Shirley are angels which, in case you are wondering, carries the definition, “an immortal spiritual being attendant upon God, a guardian spirit or guiding influence, a kind and lovable person, one who manifests goodness, purity, and unselfishness.”
We all have special God given talents in addition to God’s command to represent Him as the Holy Scripture commands. I use the word “commands” in that His command is not a mere suggestion, it is just this, a command. In addition to honoring His command in an honorable and dignified manner, Chris and Gary have the talent to perform as an artist with brush and canvas in the designing, building, and turning a heavy, coarse, closely woven fabric of cotton, hemp, or flax into a trophy. They, simply, call it making a quilt. The finished product, at the hands of Chris and Gary, is nothing less than a perfect work of art. I would be incomplete in the writing of this blog if I didn’t give you, the reader, the opportunity to look, first hand, at my special friend’s work. I invite, no encourage, you to visit: www.welovequilting.com and www.ChrisWheelerQuilts.com. Chris and Gary built each quilt out of love for the art that it is, out of dedication brought about through pride, and out of a desire to build a lasting memento of what was is and will be. Am I encouraging you to purchase one of Chris and Gary’s quilts? Let there be no doubt that I, indeed, am doing just this. I am honored to possess one of their works of art…I cover myself under “my prize” every night. She doesn’t give them away so don’t ask, but I promise you a good deal in price, quality and pride. Every quilt will become a heirloom; a valued family possession that will be handed down from generation to generation. Believe me, your owning a trophy from Chris and Gary will be worth it’s weight in gold…mine is.
In closing this blog it is only proper to offer a brief prayer. “Our dear Heavenly Father, I come to you an humble servant, one that does not deserve all that You have provided and one that seeks Your guidance in my actions, words, deeds, desires, and motives. I thank you for special friends, people like my special friend, Chris. I don’t deserve this kind of special friend, but I don’t deserve any of the many things that You have bestowed upon me. Thank you, God, for sending Your Son Jesus Christ. You did good, God, and I want you to use me however you desire. I stand ready to carry out Your wishes but, hey God, you “gotta” tell me what , how, when, and where. Thank you,too, for Happy my companion, friend. Happy may not use very good English but she gets her point across, the point that you gave us everything and that everything belongs to You. She teaches me loyalty, dedication without reservation and shows a genuine love that only comes from You. Without you, God, I would be nothing and without Chris, Gary, and Shirley I would be alot less. Be with us all, God, we need You right now. We know that You can but, more important, we know that You will direct our paths even when the road traveled is rough. We know what awaits us and we thank You. Pick us up, God, and hold us in the palm of your mighty hand when the going gets rough, when we know we are going to miserably fail. Thank you, God, for just being around. You have broad shoulders, you must have, to tolerate what we throw at You be it our actions without thought, our thoughts without guidance, our words without consideration. You didn’t make any junk, we just act as though You did. We are worldly, no doubt, but I humbly ask you to overlook our misdeeds, sins, and transgressions through your forgivness and grace. I know that You will because You promised that You would if we will only believe, have faith, and show Your compassion to our fellow man. We can’t do Your Will without Your help. We, also, know that You have not and will not require more than you make possible for us to achieve IF we only believe in you and recognize the sacrifices given us through the death, burial, and resurrection of Your Son, Jesus Christ. We know how unworthy we are and humbly ask that you over look our worldly deeds, forgive us of our sins, and let us know, through salvation that, even while on this earth, we are as sure of Heaven as we would be if we were already there. Never let us dare forget that our physical death is nothing more than passage to a home that you have awaiting each of us. Let us never forget that our living today is only a pause in Your Plan. We know that we only have to ask, just make sure we do. I ask you, God, to be with our world leaders that they will do as You want. Let us give to Caesar that which is Caesar’s but to give to You that which is Yours. Never let us become confused in knowing Your will versus that of Caesar. Make sure, please, that we honor Your directions toward Caesar but when there is a choice to be made, let us honor You and fight the dictates of Caesar. I ask all of this in the name of Your Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.